Satan Testimonial

I want to talk about my life, how it was before I found Satanism, how I found Satanism, how life is now.

I'd reached a point where I was incredibly tormented due to horrific nightmares that came every night and were so bad I became afraid to sleep. I had waking dreams, dreams that seemed so real it was hard to tell where the dream ended and being awake began. There was one episode in particular, that really shook me. I was laying in bed. I'd close my eyes, open them and my room was changed, I was somewhere else.

Open and close my eyes, still there.....then suddenly...blink and I'm back in my regular bed...and this slipping back and forth between two dimensional levels went on for HOURS. All night long till the dawn came. I finally solidified back here in regular waking life. Laid for a bit on my bed, kind of taking hold again when a movement at my bedroom door caught my eye. I looked over and there in the bedroom doorway stood a tall grey!

I was filled with horror, revulsion and anger – I didn't invite you in here! Leapt from my bed, charged it, body slamming it out into the hall and against the wall...where it vanished. I had the sensation it had been shocked that I could see it....I realized it had been responsible for the tormenting of me all night, keeping me locked in a kind of nightmare, trying to break me – convince me I was mad. These beings have strong mental powers, are strong in the astral. They can do things like this to people.

I went to the kitchen window and looking out, saw a vision in the clouds of Gods. I saw these incredible beings, many beautiful men and women. I was crying because I had nobody I could talk to about any of this. If I said anything, the men with the butterfly nets and white coats would probably be along soon to collect me. It's been like that all my life. Not able to talk of what I can see/or sense....it's frowned on, People immediately dismiss what you are saying assuming you're either on drugs or have one hell of an imagination. It's the curse of the sensitive in a world full of people who can't sense or see. You are alone.

(Interestingly, years later my Guardian reminded me of that morning and how I was crying, staring out the window at the noble figures in the clouds saying: 'I wish I had somebody I could talk to about these things” and He told me He'd been there. He'd told me: “You can talk to ME” - but I didn't hear Him that time. I was too upset)

And before anybody says it; no. I'd actually, earlier in my life, suffering from the same sort of thing, worried was I stone cold nuts?!? Voluntarily checked myself into a psyche ward. Where I was given a stack of tests literally inches thick – trick questions, really – designed so that....if you answer wrong? You're involuntarily committed and that's it.

Involuntary commitment is a very scary thing....the state can then hang onto you for as long as they want, you have no rights anymore. They can force feed you medications however/whenever they want, hang onto you for as long as they want...for the rest of your life, if they want. It's a fate worse than death! I thought the tests were so transparent, so ridiculous...I was so tempted to answer them in the craziest way possible, just to show them. But my Guardian was suddenly there...and He said: “Involuntary commitment. Don't mess around here. This isn't a game. You don't want to hand yourself over to these people!” I saw immediately the sense of what He was saying, so I answered the questions rationally. Since...I'm actually not mad.

But I'll tell you: you think you're depressed? Just wait till you get into one of those places and see people with REAL problems! A little depression is NOTHING, compared to some problems people actually have. There's nothing like a little stint in a psyche ward to put things into perspective!

And after about...5 days, my adventures in the psyche ward came to an abrupt end. They kicked me out one morning saying:

“Theres nothing wrong with you....you're just a little depressed. Go home.”

Well, I'll tell you.....there was nothing quite like the feeling of walking home alone and free for the first time in 5 days...it was so.....wonderful!!! I deliberately stopped and made a point to smell every flower I encountered on the way. I determined I would soldier on.

And so, years later.....here I was once again....suffering from feelings of: you've wasted your life. Filled with regret over paths not taken, sadness due to past BS. Feeling completely alone.

Through this time I fought as always to survive. Art was my lifeline. I was part of an art collective at that time which was a big help. To know other artists who also struggle and know I had a place where I could go talk to other people who completely understood (Peer based support is always superior to top down models).

And this is when the book idea came to me. I'd always wanted to write a galactic sized book. Tell an amazing story. I loved lord of the rings growing up and that was kind of the yardstick. I wanted to write a big grand story about many themes at once: Passion, love, friendship, honor, family, sacrifice, magic, triumph against all odds, good over evil. All that stuff.

I wanted to write about this world but put it into a 'fantasy science fiction' garb so I wouldn't be censored. I wanted to talk about the truth, as I see it. Because what I saw when I looked at this world is a big slave factory where the people can't even see they were enslaved. And it depressed the hell out of me. I wanted to help wake people up, somehow. I thought a book might be a good way. Write a cracking great story.

One morning I woke from a lucid dream of speaking to two men, who I knew were to be the main characters of my book. I was awake and yet still half asleep. On the borderland between the two states and I said out loud: “Tell me your names!” and I 'heard' two names in response. I raced out of bed, turned the computer on and wrote the names phonetically as they were weird to me. And so my book began.

I wrote hard, for hours and hours, days, months. And loved every minute of it! It was fun! The hours flew by like minutes! But then, one day...sitting having a coffee in my kitchen, I 'heard' a mans voice.

And He said (telepathically):

”That neat little ending you have all planned for me? You can forget that! You're going to give me a re-write. I'm not the villain of this piece...I'm the hero. You're going to trash a lot of that nonsense you wrote about me...and write what I give you!” It was my main character 'speaking' loud and clear!! Dictating to me what I would write! I've read other authors describe how characters do this to them. I can attest it's true! It really is! It happened to me, and I was so taken aback, I sat there in shock for a minute, speechless and then I said:

“ok!”

I went to my computer, opened up the file and trashed about 300 pages, started over and as promised, he gave me direction.

And then one day, a scene wrote itself, and it contained Satan in it! Which I found startling...I hadn't had any conscious idea of including Satan in this....why was He here?

And then...after it was written I had this really odd and bad gut feeling. What if....I thought...what if I inadvertently just dishonoured Him? What if I made a mistake representing how He actually is? I know He's real. The last thing I want is to be denigrating Him!

The thought that I might have just done so bothered me so much that I couldn't go on. I got a huge writers block.

For a couple of weeks I found myself totally unable to write. Which was really hard to bear, as I love to write and was eager to get back to my story. But...every time I opened that damned file and saw that blank page waiting....I couldn't! I just couldn't channel one word!

So it came about that one night....alone in the gallery after hours, sitting in low lighting staring at that damned blank page, I got angry. Really angry. I was so mad! I snarled:

“Ok! What do you want? You want me to dump the book? Trash it? Fuck it? Throw it out? Is that what you want?!?” (I'm yelling by now, to an empty gallery – like a fool I thought...but I was so mad, I couldn't stop) “Because I'll do it, if thats what you want! You tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it! OK? Just.....TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!”

Immediately I felt a presence, a man. He responded (I should add here this isn't like hearing voices. It's telepathy. It's a voice you hear in your mind, clearly not your internal thought voice, but another belonging to someone else – this isn't the same as hearing things with your ears. This isn't schizophrenia. It's telepathic contact).

So, this man says:

“You want to write about truth and that's good...but you don't know all the truth yet! You've only heard half the story! You have to educate yourself first......so. Pull up your internet...”

I obeyed. And He said:

“Search this...”

He led me to knowledge that exposed the lies of Christianity. I went there not knowing what to expect and the man said:

“Set aside your disbelief for now and study. Thats all you have to do. You've looked at things from the christian perspective. Now, I want you to look at things from another.”

Which I did. I studied. I might not have been brought up in christianity, but this mono religion has so permeated society that I managed to soak up one aspect: The belief in angels.

I'm very psychic; a sensitive/empath. From a young age I've been aware I have a 'friend'...a guardian. He's made himself known many times over the course of my life; saved my life many times, given me great advice. A few times He's actually shown Himself: Very tall, slender but muscular, long blonde hair, green blue eyes, a white man. I have a ton of stories about Him I could tell! All this time I had assumed He was an angel...turns out He wasn't. LOL. Ooops.

I know it's a weird paradox, to say I know I have this guardian and at the same time, feel so much alone for most of my life. How could both be true? Yet it was. This is not a boo hoo story. I'm relating facts. That's how it was.

When I read about Satan, at first this really threw me for a loop. Because again, I might not have been brought up in a mono religion, but the idea that Satan is a monster who hates us personally is impregnated into the very fabric of western society. It's insidious, really. And I was no different I suppose in that respect. I got fooled too.

In fact, I remember being a child in bed alone at night and I would think about Satan and I would cry...wondering why He hated me so much. Seriously. I did.

This was a new way to look at things, and at Satan. It was harder still, to learn that angels are not what we've been taught, and that the real wise ones who help us...are the beings the church calls Demons. Finding out my guardian was a Demon...was a bit of a shock :)

But, I set aside my disbelief as He told me and I gave all this new information about Satan and the Demons an honest listen. And I could feel it in my gut. It was the truth. Satan isn't the monster. Demons aren't what you've been taught either. They are wise beings. THEY are the ones who help us.

So, the truth being the truth, I decided to dedicate to Satan. I actually always liked Him and thats why it hurt so much to think He hated me. It was a relief to find out He doesn't and never did.

I continued to study, right up to this day, 5 years later. I study all the time now.

So, this kind of fills in a bit of the background, bringing me back around again to the nightmares. When the nightmares were happening, a woman whom I'd met, a pastor, had taken a shine to me and was taking me out for coffees, talking to me about 'god'...she tried a sneak attack on me one night. I'd been invited to these people's place for a dinner and after dinner, she seized my hand, knelt in front of me and started praying out loud for me while the other two came and laid their hands on me, then she began demanding I declare for jesus right then and there!

I was furious at thus being entrapped and ambushed. As she was speaking to me about the wonders of this.....egregore....I closed my eyes, looked to my third eye and I 'saw' a vast and empty plain, barren of life. Off to the horizon, were great tall mountains. The sky over them was black and lightning was discharging from cloud to cloud, so far away you couldn't hear the thunder. There was no 'god' anywhere in sight.

I flashed back to the day when I went to my friends church (curious) as a little girl. I sat there as the pastor droned on. Looking around at the walls, the room felt cold and sterile. Empty of life. It felt cold, exactly like this empty plain, and as empty of life. There is no 'god' here...I thought....and so I opened my eyes and said:

“No.”

“What? But...jesus loves you!”

“Does he? If he does, he can tell me himself, just as my guardian tells me he loves me. I'm used to direct communication. If your jesus can't do that, then Hes not real, and I'm out of here.”

I left. Never had contact with those people again. And literally one or two days later, was when my Guardian led me to Satan. So, it was all meant to be.

Most significantly, as soon as I dedicated, the nightmares – which were dreadful - stopped. The attacking, the chasing, harassing...it all stopped. I felt safe for the first time in years, to turn off the lights and go to sleep.

I'm a much happier person today, thanks to learning the truth about Satan. I'm aware now how the M religions manipulate and mislead people. I'm not lost in the looking glass anymore.

I stepped out of it.

My desire now is to help others step out of that inverted world, as well.

HPS ZolaluckyStar

Truth4Satan Ministries

'My wisdom is not separate from my heart”

Satan

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