HPBlackMamba's Meditation and Self Worship Journal

[HPBlackMamba]

When I joined Satanism, I was expecting my life to get better. However, I am awestruck when I realize just how much my life has improved. Self worship is the perfect recipe for a happy and fulfilling life.

One of the major benefits of Self-Worship and meditation is improved self-worth and self-esteem. When you worship yourself you start cultivating a personal development mindset. This is the stuff leaders are made of.

Many people don't realize that confidence affects almost every aspect of our lives. When I look back at the past 7 years, I can see that I would have failed at many tasks if it wasn't for confidence.

You don't need to attend a 7 day seminar from a motivational speaker, or buy a book that will guide you through X amount of steps to achieve your goals. Self-worship is the easiest and most natural way to gain confidence and to improve as a person.

What is confidence? Confidence is a state of being that occurs when you have faith in something. For example, some people have faith in a higher power which makes them feel confident that an unseen hand is guiding them through life. Like there is some kind of invisible power looking out for them.

Other people place their trust in a good luck charm. The downside to this is that this misplaced confidence usually leaves the person with a low self esteem. The problem is that they didn't believe in themselves from the start, and now they are relying on an outside force or power.

This brings me to my next point i.e. there is a difference between confidence and self-confidence. When you know yourself, when you trust yourself, when you have faith in yourself, that is when you have true self-confidence. I have mentioned before that this can only really happen when a person knows themself.

Self esteem is directly affected by how much confidence we have in ourselves. Self esteem is an individual's sense of their own personal value or worth.

After I started worshiping myself I saw a major increase in my personal health and well being. The first thing that improved was my psychological health and well-being. This created a sense of security within me, and once my mental health was sorted out, my physical health improved too. The ancient Greeks were probably right when they said that a healthy mind equals a healthy body.

My happiness improved too. When I started worshiping myself I started realizing that I felt happier and more fulfilled. My inner strength increased and I was more motivated to pursue my goals. I was able to push myself harder and my relationships improved too.

Speaking to people became easier, and it was easier to control my emotions. I also started noticing that I was influencing others in a positive way. People liked being around me and the positive warm energy.

There were also many other benefits that I started noticing in my life like increased performance, reduced social anxiety, creativity, reduced stress and better sleep. But the greatest benefit of all was freedom!

Freedom to finally accept myself for who I am. Freedom to finally chase down my dreams. Freedom to do things out of love instead of fear. Freedom to live my best life and to get the most out of life.

Yes, self worship has shown me that I hold the keys to unlocking my full potential. Life is a Lamborghini and I am the driver. No more fear of trying new things or getting what I want out of life.

[HPBlackMamba]

I dreamed that I was giving art lessons again. I was flipping through the pages of a book trying to find my place where I left off with the last student. I also had my art resource material with me. There was also a man voicing his disapproval, saying something about why it's bad to teach aboriginal people western European art.

[HPBlackMamba]

Lately I have become fond of relaxing in the bath and worshiping myself. I like listening to tribal drum beats when I sing and chant praises of self veneration. This is one of my favorite beats:



I was worshiping myself in the bath and I saw the entire room fill with powerful brilliant white light. I saw this through my third eye. I kept going and the light kept getting brighter. After bathing I felt clean on the inside and the outside. I felt whole and fulfilled.

[HPBlackMamba]

How to avoid chronic procrastination when it comes to meditation? This is a question that I get asked a lot. Honestly, this has never been a problem for me. But that's just because I have always been passionate about my meditation journey.

I remember when I sat down to meditate for the first time (This was about 7 years ago). After my first session, I felt so good! I remember asking myself why I hadn't started sooner. Ever since then I meditated every day consistently. At some point, I was quite addicted to the feeling of being in a meditative trance.

I understand that it can't be easy like this for everyone, and although I never had a problem with procrastination when it comes to meditation, I definitely struggle in other areas in my life. Procrastination is usually caused by stress (many times we may even stress about things beyond our control). You could be stressing about chores that need to be done, school work, rent that is overdue, a debt that needs to be paid, etc.

When the time comes to sit down and do a task, we don't register that we have this unresolved baggage in our subconscious, and the frontal cortex of the brain shuts down. We put the task off for later because we haven't finished what is processing in the background.

Ironically, meditation can help you to deal with these things and reduce stress. So what is the solution? When you find yourself procrastinating and putting off meditation, stop everything immediately. Take a few deep breaths and identify what you are stressed out about, or what's nagging at the back of your mind.

For example, it could have been an argument with a loved one earlier that day, or a business meeting that you are anxious about. Once you identified what the cause of your anxiety is, schedule a time later in the day to deal with the situation. With that out of the way, you can now get to your meditations peacefully.

Meditation should be fun, it's a time to relax the mind and explore what your brain can do. It should never feel like a chore or responsibility". Once you've had a good meditation session you will feel much better and ready to grab life by the horns again.

[HPSZolaLuckyStar]

A great way to meditate is to do yoga. that hour on the mat is for yourself; use it. It is a practice that grounds you, moves stuck energy and releases it. I get the procrastination thing; its the same with yoga. you'll procrastinate getting on the mat and then after wonder why you waited, as you feel so much better after.

[HPBlackMamba]

Although my dream was vivid, it's very scattered and hardly makes sense at all. I can only remember fragments of it and am going to do my best to record what I can.

I was enrolling students in different schools. I was explaining to the one student that they needed a grey uniform with a hint of orange for the school. They were holding a grey jersey that had orange stripes around the neck opening and on the sleeves. Everything checked out and I let them pass.

The next student was going to a different school "Delta Park"(this was one of the schools where I attended in my younger years). I explained to them that they needed a uniform that was grey with white stripes. I also explained the school's disciplinary system to them. If they were to disobey or misbehave they would get a black X on their record. Each X represented a punishment in the dream.

Then the dream transitioned towards me trying to teach a man how to ride a motorcycle. The man was a poor gardener and the motorcycle was a gift from his employer. Every time I tried to explain how he should use the motorcycle the man would argue with me. He didn't pay attention to what I was saying. I remember feeling very frustrated with this guy.

The dream then transitioned to a rich Italian businessman. The man reminded me of a mob lord in the way that he ran his business with bouncers and bodyguards. I was waiting to have a meeting with him and a woman was explaining the rules of engagement to me. She was also explaining how to use the translation device so that I can understand what the man was saying.

Finally, I met with the man, and although I had trouble with the translation device we understood each other and became great friends. He was talking about how he runs his business. While we were in the meeting an important guest arrived unexpectedly. The Italian businessman didn't want to be seen with us when the guest entered the room and I escaped over the balcony with his bouncers.

We jumped over the balcony and escaped into the parking lot. It was nighttime and dark outside. I tried my best to be quiet and stealthy, but when I landed on the ground after jumping off the balcony I made noise on impact. To make matters worse, there was something in my pocket that made a rattling noise (some kind of metallic wrapper) when I walked and I stepped on twigs.

The anxiety rose as I became aware that the people entering the gate of the premises noticed me. One of these people was a friend that I recognized from my high school years. Her name was Nadia and she was wearing a black leather jacket.

I walked up to Nadia, grabbed her by the shoulders, and turned her in the other direction while striking up a conversation. This was an attempt to divert her attention away from the others hiding in the parking lot. she was smiling and was happy to see me.

I can't remember what we talked about, but she ended up taking me to a room in the back of the building. This was her apartment? Suddenly Nadia was only wearing a light blue shirt and some black underwear with polka dots. She also seemed to be a younger version of herself- 20 something Nadia.

She looked sexy, and to be honest I could feel the urge to have sex with her. She lay on the bed with her ass towards me. "Damn," I thought to myself. She had nice round cheeks with some dimples.

I decided that I wouldn't have sex with her, even if she begged me. I didn't trust this setup. I walked up to the bed, she invited me to sit next to her. "Nothing wrong with a cuddle though," I said to myself.

As I was ready to lie down next to her on the bed I noticed a gaping hole in her leg. I peered through the hole and I could see right through her leg. I felt like I was looking through a tunnel. The Hole was bigger on the other side, it reminded me of an exit wound from a bullet that is bigger at the exit point.

I started contemplating what could have caused such a weird thing. And there the dream ended.

[HPBlackMamba]

I was meditating and I suddenly felt a weight on my legs, almost as if someone was sitting on my legs. This wasn't the first time this happened to me. Then the weight lifted and I had a sensation of someone standing over me. It reached out and grabbed my leg. There was definitely something from a different dimension. Suddenly it floated over me and disappeared. I was awake and aware, this was very real.

Earlier this week I was meditating and I heard someone drop something on my roof, then a scuffle followed by some footsteps. I remember reading an occult book where the author said they found strange footprints in on a roof in the snow. Long ago ancient Chinese people used to have pointy roofs so that "evil spirits" would slide off if they tried to sit on the roof.



Could these "Evil spirits" have been E.T.s? I don't know, but I can speculate that extraterrestrials with advanced mind powers would be able to sit the roof of a building and look down into the minds of the inhabitants. This would be quite easy for them to do. If there are farmer ETs it would make sense for them to check up on their livestock in the same way that human farmers check a beehive.

[HPBlackMamba]

Can't remember much of this dream. There was some construction, real estate and a Muslim woman in a burka. That's all I got.

[HPBlackMamba]

My dream was extremely vivid. However, as soon as I woke up it slipped out of my mind. I just recall dreaming about the ocean and a traveling man. Meditations are going well. I really enjoy my meditation time. Ritualistic self worship sessions are powerful too.

[HPBlackMamba]

Meditations are going well. Recently I had an intense feeling of inner strength while meditating. I look back at situations in my life where meditation has saved me. Because of my ADHD, I tend to act before I can catch myself, and also be impulsive. Meditation has helped me to bring this under control. There are so many situations where I could have acted out, but I didn't. Instead, I stopped myself and did the rational thing. I thank meditation for this.

When we meditate, we train the mind. As a Satanist, your brain is your biggest asset. Medical Scientists have discovered that neural pathways can be altered and retrained, even in old age. To a large extent, I am sure that meditation has helped me to achieve this and make my ADHD more manageable.

Positive life choices have also played a role. Proper diet and exercise have also done wonders for me. This can also be seen as an act of self-worship, as I was making choices that were in my best interest. I do love myself more than God or Government ever could. I am above God, I am exalted and I worship myself.

I know that if I want a good life, the responsibility lies in my own hands. I can only depend on myself, looking towards a higher power is a waste of time and energy.