Spirit lovers are a phenomenon as widespread as they are controversial. From the tantric Indian practices involving Dakini to transmute raw and unrefined sexual energy into pure magickal energy, to the loved and feared fox spirits in East Asia who are said to steal it, to the spirit spouses of shamans who assist them in their spiritual work, to the succubi and incubi which are said to haunt people’s sleep in Europe to do “sinful” things to them; rumours are easier to come across than those with experience.
As the diverse history and cultural differences suggest, spirit love means very different things depending on who you ask. It can be a divine bond for spiritual guidance, or something far more lewd, or something dangerous and distracting which leads people astray, or something deeply romantic and sweet.
It’s almost always something esoteric, for those who are detached enough from something to prefer it over seeking love the “normal” way. But does it have to be that way?
Today I’ll tell you about spirit love without spirits, between two people who are still alive and well to this day.
But first, I’ll give some context to explain why.
Part 1: Existential dread
When I was 10, a distant relative passed away. I saw how sad my family was at the funeral, and it made me think:
“If everything will eventually disappear, won’t getting attached to anything only hurt me, just like the people here are hurting?”
“Then what’s the meaning or purpose of anything? Why not just stop living now? Wouldn’t that be more efficient?”
Then I thought about how my parents would feel if I passed away so young, and started crying.
Since then I could never shake a distinct sense of existential dread, and became depressed. I thought by isolating myself, I could think less about other people’s mortality.
So when I first heard about relationships with spirits 4 years ago, the concept resonated with me. I loved the idea of falling in love with someone I wasn’t bound to lose.
Unlike everything else, it didn’t feel meaningless in the long term. Except for one issue: I was already in love with a mortal human by then.
Thinking about the topic only confronted me with his mortality more. It tore me apart to think about how much I’ll hurt someday just for loving him until the end.
Even so I decided I want to cherish him for as long as he’s alive, and after he passes away when I’m in my 80s or so, I’ll try to marry a spirit to settle down with eternally.
Part 2: More than just a stepping stone
Having processed that I’ll lose him someday, and made future plans for after that, I became noticeably less clingy. He picked up on that and asked me if something’s wrong. Although I assumed knowing would sadden him, I didn’t want to drift apart over this, so I deemed it important to tell him honestly:
“I believe love is more precious the more time people have spent together. But after we grow old together, you’ll pass away and I’ll miss you so much. I’ll have to move on.
Since I started meditating a couple months ago, I noticed I can feel touch from spirits. It made me think about what it’d be like to be in a relationship with one.
If I fell in love with an immortal spirit, I’d never have to worry about losing them someday. Furthermore, since my etheric body already appears to be female based on what I can feel, spirit sex would let me make love without feeling anxious or uncomfortable with myself. As a bonus, I could even receive spiritual guidance and protection.
Even so, I love you too much to want anyone else, spirit or not. For as long as you’re alive, I want to be with you and cherish you.
But after you pass away, I won’t fall in love with a mortal again, and will start looking for a spirit to settle down with instead.”
He teared up, and said:
“I can’t stand the idea that I’m just a stepping stone to you.”
“Would you prefer if I mourned you forever in solitude?”
“I want to be with you forever, and I’m willing to do anything it takes to make that happen, if you teach me how.”
I was so moved. But is it possible? I assumed that, ordinarily, a spirit would do the heavy lifting early on, and gradually teach me how to have a spirit relationship.
But I realised that’s a lazy mentality, and told him:
“You’re right, I shouldn’t give up before I try. What point is there in love if it’s not with you? I’ll learn as much as I can and share it with you, to pave our way to eternity together. If that’s your wish too, I’ll never stop loving you. Are you okay with that?”
“I’m more than okay with that, because I’ll love you forever too.”
Though there wasn’t a clear path ahead of us, we hoped a lifetime would be enough to figure it out together.
Part 3: A tragedy and breakthrough
I began teaching him my daily meditation and yoga routine, and we often did energy work together to practice. But despite our best efforts, progress went at a snail’s pace. The occasional mild sensations just left me wanting much more than we could achieve at the time.
Seeking occult knowledge to accelerate the learning process, I frequented a Discord server related to spiritual Satanism. There, I unfortunately became involved in a tragedy which spiralled out of control in the span of just 6 weeks. Long story short, it was a wild ride in which several people went insane, wrecked their own lives, or went missing.
As for me? Besides wondering where it all went so wrong, and mourning the loss of my new friends, I suddenly had some of the memories of several sexually vampiric spirits.
I apologised to my partner for losing sight of so many things. He had missed me and said he was just glad to see me again, and helped me remember what my personality was supposed to be like after I’d mostly forgotten due to everything that’d happened. Soon everything went back to normal.
Or did it? No, it was quite different. My newfound “memories” included the knowledge of how to initiate spirit sex with a living person. You might have heard of “bilocation”?
When we tried it, it felt 10 times better than anything I’d ever physically felt before then. And as we practised together almost every day for the next few years, it only got better. Besides letting us connect more deeply, it also let us bypass the body issues I still struggled with back then, and close the distance back when we didn’t live together yet.
In the end, I had remove the foreign memories through energy work as some of them were interfering with my principles. After doing so, I felt like “me” again for the first time in years, and replaced the techniques I forgot with ones which use energy I can recharge just by taking a nap.
Part 4: Not even death can do us part
Earlier this year, a close friend passed away due to terminal illness. But neither she nor I were afraid. She knew where she was going and looked forward to it, and I can always find her spirit by focusing on our bond. I stayed in touch to see how she’s liking her new “life” on the other side, free from illness. To this day, she’s still my best friend.
It changed my perspective on many things. I noticed that, just like I can still hug or talk with my friend even though she has no physical body anymore, I can also interact with my husband while he’s physically preoccupied, and his spirit will react the same as always. As we explored that the past half year, gradually we shifted from an ordinary relationship with some spiritual aspects, to being in a full-fledged spirit relationship with the same person we’re physically married to. For example, he often approaches me astrally even while he’s physically asleep or busy, and I can also spend time with him while I’m lucid dreaming myself.
As I reflected on all of that last week, it finally dawned on me that we’ve achieved what we set out to do all those years ago: no matter what physically happens to either of us, we’ll always still be able to do so much together. Now not even death can do us part. I told him what I was writing about, and said:
“We really made it, didn’t we?” “Indeed we did.”
Conclusion
Besides our relationship now existing in a way we get to cherish forever no matter what, some of the benefits are directly physically applicable too. For example:
- Energy can be used like an aphrodisiac to increase sensitivity.
- Our chakras are linked so we’re always in the mood at the same time.
- We can feel each other’s pleasure which can lead to a feedback loop.
Thus my present everyday life and romance have become something I never could’ve imagined.
