I had few weird days where I felt so restless, and I just couldn't calm down, nor force myself to sleep enough, nor I could relax at all in any way really. I had uncomfortable talk with my family on top of it all, you know one of those when will you get that nice job, when will you get serious, when will you have family and kids blah blah blah. Left me feeling even more restless.
Checked some transits and it looked like I might feel weird almost whole October. I was really not sure what to do and I tried different meditations and runes to calm myself down, but it didn't helped that much. I cleaned myself much more than usual but still overall I felt bad, and I started feeling so drained too after a while.
So I decided to try some of those positive affirmations from HP Mamba. Basically I always knew that some of those things could work on some level, but I never really tried it out like that ( I have finished many workings that had some positive affirmations in them, but not this)
I tried some simple affirmations that night and it kinda worked. It was not perfect but it calmed me down and it was really interesting experience.
Main issue might be that I felt some deep and hidden guilt and anxiety and I felt like I might not be capable to cope well with some things in the future that I know that I must deal with. There are some certain things that I tried to postpone, and year is ending so I must deal with it finally, and then overall thinking much about future can be pain in the ass, and I was forced to do it. I don't like how every time my family speaks to me about anything serious, it has this bad tone to it, it's like there is no way I can do anything right in life, at least nothing as they imagined it I guess. So those talks can make me feel really frustrated for a while, and if I feel bad, it will make me feel even worse most likely. So that's why I realized I could try those positive affirmations now and test it.
So I said something like :
-I believe that I can overcome all hardship no matter what.
- I believe in myself.
-I am more confident, relaxed and positive person from now on
-I can always relax and fall asleep easily and fast when I want it
-I am always brave and I'm not worried or anxious ever again
-I truly believe that I can do things properly and nicely in the future
I am not sure did I done this right but I just wanted to try some simple positive affirmations. The most interesting part was when I said how I am confident, brave and that I believe in myself, I felt something unblocking in my solar plexus, (I had high energy levels after meditations so I felt this unblocking a lot), I even heard my stomach making some lil sounds as it all got unblocked and it felt much better there, and then energy reconnected in my main nadi to my upper chakras. It seems my male and female chakras were struggling to stay fully connected those days. And then as I affirmed that, lots of energy started flowing to my crown chakra. But what was weird was this intense sound that almost felt like it's on physical..some weird sound reminding me of a sea or ocean, beach, small waves hitting sand or some rocky beach. It literally sounded as an ocean or sea water splashing around a bit. Idk why did that occured too after affirming those things, but I wanted to share because I found it interesting.
Anyways it helped a lots and I stopped being so restless and I managed to get myself back to normal again. Will try it again soon for sure.
