My testimony as an ex-JoS member.

[Celeste AikoGal]

hello. the goal of this post is not to hate on JoS etc, just to share my own experience on the Joy of Satan ministries.

i joined JoS three years ago. this was my first source of Satanism. i loved it because, the site has so much knowledge about Satanism and Magic. then, i also discovered the forum. so, i started to write in the forum - especially for magic advices etc... but JoS forums literally oppressed me so much, as an LGBT person. so i hated on myself and tried to change myself. i'm healing from that, fortunately. i feel better. also, their routine oppressed me. i got OBSESSED that EVERYDAY i had to practice things of the meditation routine etc... while as i said, now i practice with my own time and ways.

the JoS forums, also made me isolate from other people and angry with everyone. Also, i was literally hating on race mixing people and was about this race stuff. i am ashamed about that. i lost so much time for nothing. i thought that JoS was the only truth in the world. i was always trying to leave, but not being able to. because, i thought that Satanism = Only JoS. and i had religion crisis about that. because i thought that if i left JoS, i wouldn't have been Satanist anymore. but this doesn't work like that. Satanism is open to everyone and it hasn't a cult or a sect / coven etc.. it is individual.

then, returning to the meditation routine: i got obsessed and, despite i have depression and i feel mentally limited, i was pushing myself more than the normal. this drained me so much instead. in regard to rituals schedule for example: i can't stand so many vibrations. so during it, i was starting to cry from tiredness and dryness sympttoms and i got told it was the enemy's fault, but it was because i wasn't able to handle all of these vibrations especially the race ritual and i felt useless. like, no one should tell you what ritual to do.

i left and rejoined JoS so many times, because i thought it was the absolute truth. also, what was deceiving me is that they have great magic stuff and Satanism knowledge. but, no. it didn't work for me. it just harmed me. what really makes me shocked is that i was thinking i was feeling good. but NOT. i was just ignoring my emotions. ignoring my mental health. in fact now that i started listening to these, it's a disaster. not putting all of that on JoS, but also JoS' ideologies and hate contributed to this. i'm desiring to heal, JoS' cause or not. i want to heal. and now no one can tell me that as an LGBT person i'm not valid + i want to practice on my own and, i don't want to hate like that anymore. i am a human and so i can do errors, but i want to spread love as i can, even if it's hard to live. but i wanted to say my experience there.


if you left, i'm proud of you. you've been mentally strong and you found mental freedom. i'm glad. i'm proud of you.

if you are struggling to leave, please know that Satan and the Gods don't care. Satanism IS individual. so they love you. just do what you feel to do, please think with your mind and heart. also, practicing everyday only because they said that, is harmful for your mental health and physical health. you want to practice on your own when you feel in the right moment. so.. remember you also have a community here to support you. when i discovered this forum, i felt like i was able to handle my "dependency" on JoS and i gradually left. thank you everyone. i wasn't able to think by myself.

[HPSZolaLuckyStar]

Thank you for sharing. Keep healing yourself and I wish you all the best

[Howlite]

I remember when I realised that there is no absolute truth was one of the most liberating moment of my spiritual journey.

[HPSZolaLuckyStar]

Socrates is quoted as saying the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. I think perhaps thats the point where one becomes receptive to learning

[BirdofFreedom]

i left and rejoined JoS so many times, because i thought it was the absolute truth. also, what was deceiving me is that they have great magic stuff and Satanism knowledge. but, no. it didn't work for me. it just harmed me. what really makes me shocked is that i was thinking i was feeling good. but NOT. i was just ignoring my emotions. ignoring my mental health.

This reminds me of a friend of mines, no matter how many times i got them out of the jos, they still went back in.

which reminds me of this song.


because they forgot all the abuse and pain they suffered while they were in the jos, they suppress their emotions, all so they can be lied to again and exploited again.

[Celeste AikoGal]

Evanescence! <3 thank you going to listen! hope your friend is feeling better and can feel better if not..

[Fluxinella Stellaris]

i left and rejoined JoS so many times, because i thought it was the absolute truth. also, what was deceiving me is that they have great magic stuff and Satanism knowledge. but, no. it didn't work for me. it just harmed me. what really makes me shocked is that i was thinking i was feeling good. but NOT. i was just ignoring my emotions. ignoring my mental health.

This reminds me of a friend of mines, no matter how many times i got them out of the jos, they still went back in.

which reminds me of this song.


because they forgot all the abuse and pain they suffered while they were in the jos, they suppress their emotions, all so they can be lied to again and exploited again.

Your messenger reached me. I'm surprised that you would call me your friend.

You've scrutinised my (perfectly normal) choice of career as well as my sexual preferences, and clearly have no regard for boundaries, as you keep pressuring me to get involved in things I'm not comfortable with. Clearly you're not my friend, so what made you think I'm yours?

Due to what I've seen over the past several years, it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are, especially the higher-ups; several have a tendency to confidently claim things that I've personally had the opportunity to confirm (physically) as nonsense. But who else am I supposed to discuss all these ridiculous topics with? Keeping my thoughts to myself is boooring, and there's enough people asking silly, irrelevant questions on JoS that I can actually offer my musings as useful advice there. You know how much I enjoy helping others, so how can I help it?

Talking to you will just get me in trouble, spending too much time on JoS will eventually deteriorate my mental health, and the interesting threads on 4chan die way too quickly to be satisfying. I tried joining an LGBT community on Discord a few months ago, but their bitterness and negativity towards normal people was extremely off-putting, so I left as I felt like a misfit for having a loving family and being married to a straight man. Spending time with my family, husband and friends is relaxing and fulfilling and all, but they just don't get all the stuff about astrology and sexuality and biology that interests me. So what am I supposed to do then?

I don't trust you, and I won't follow your advice unless it seems safe and reasonable. But since I do recognise that there's a problem, I'll hear what you have to say at least.

[BirdofFreedom]

This reminds me of a friend of mines, no matter how many times i got them out of the jos, they still went back in.

which reminds me of this song.


because they forgot all the abuse and pain they suffered while they were in the jos, they suppress their emotions, all so they can be lied to again and exploited again.

Your messenger reached me. I'm surprised that you would call me your friend.

You've scrutinised my (perfectly normal) choice of career as well as my sexual preferences, and clearly have no regard for boundaries, as you keep pressuring me to get involved in things I'm not comfortable with. Clearly you're not my friend, so what made you think I'm yours?

Due to what I've seen over the past several years, it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are, especially the higher-ups; several have a tendency to confidently claim things that I've personally had the opportunity to confirm (physically) as nonsense. But who else am I supposed to discuss all these ridiculous topics with? Keeping my thoughts to myself is boooring, and there's enough people asking silly, irrelevant questions on JoS that I can actually offer my musings as useful advice there. You know how much I enjoy helping others, so how can I help it?

Talking to you will just get me in trouble, spending too much time on JoS will eventually deteriorate my mental health, and the interesting threads on 4chan die way too quickly to be satisfying. I tried joining an LGBT community on Discord a few months ago, but their bitterness and negativity towards normal people was extremely off-putting, so I left as I felt like a misfit for having a loving family and being married to a straight man. Spending time with my family, husband and friends is relaxing and fulfilling and all, but they just don't get all the stuff about astrology and sexuality and biology that interests me. So what am I supposed to do then?

I don't trust you, and I won't follow your advice unless it seems safe and reasonable. But since I do recognise that there's a problem, I'll hear what you have to say at least.

of course it reached you,
when i want something done it gets done.

Yes i did scrutinize your career, it's not to say that you're stupid, you're a smart person.
The reality is like i told you before, that you lack awareness.

You're smart enough to make the right decisions, but you make your decisions based on what you know and there's a lot of things you don't know, which is why your decisions lead to errors and problems.

How are you going to nurture people anyways? if you're going to nurture someone you need to understand people on an emotional level, how can you do that when you don't even understand your own emotions?

you got 2 links, if you read my other post you'd know that:
"a lack of hatred is not love, a lack of hatred is 'tolerance'
Tolerance is the passivity that harms, to much tolerance can lead to one being abused and having their rights infringed upon."
you clearly lack hatred because if you had any you wouldn't have taken the abuse that you did.

you said: "Clearly you're not my friend" well you probably don't know what a friend is then.
I'm not going to be going to tell you a bunch of a pretty little lies for the sake of being 'nice'. i tell you things as they are, there's no fake kindness with me, if fake stuff is what you consider to be a friend, then yes i am not your friend. ♪
which makes me wonder how many 'real' friends do you have?

"it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are" Well you certainly took your time to realize that, didn't you?


"So what am I supposed to do then?" Yea good question.
You don't really need to tell me how many groups you left, when we 1st meet i saw right through you and i told you what you were searching for.
Everyone needs a place to belong where they can express themselves for who they are, a 'home'.
i gave that to you but you walked away for it, so yea? what are you supposed to do now?

Not sure why you even bothered coming here acting all kool saying things like: "I dOn't TrUsT yOu, AnD i WoN'T fOlLoW yOuR aDvIcE uNlEsS iT sEeMs SaFe AnD rEaSoNaBlE. bUt SiNcE i Do ReCoGnIsE tHaT tHeRe's A pRoBlEm, I'Ll HeAr WhAt YoU hAvE tO sAy At LeAsT."
I know for a fact that you wouldn't have even bothered coming here unless you were going through hell.

whether you trust my advise or not is irrelevant, because I'm not the one who needs it right now.
if you want someone to bail you out of whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into, just say that.

What do you know about boundaries anyways?
you clearly have none.
You went there and let actual deranged people tell you that you're deranged, and your response was to thank them and say they're correct.
you tucked your tail in between your legs and found a nice corner to hide in, years ago you were abused then you went back to be abused again,
and now you want to come talking to me acting all kool? you clearly have no respect for me nor my boundaries.

The only reason why you act kool when talking to me now is because I've been generous and nice to you, which you seem to take advantage of.


So why should i help you? you don't even see me as a friend, so I see no reason why I should help you right now.

"Talking to you will just get me in trouble," but you're already in trouble, aren't you? if you weren't you would not be here right now.
Life ain't easy and trouble is inevitable.
I guess you haven't realized it yet, have you?
Freedom ain't free.

[Fluxinella Stellaris]

This reminds me of a friend of mines, no matter how many times i got them out of the jos, they still went back in.

which reminds me of this song.


because they forgot all the abuse and pain they suffered while they were in the jos, they suppress their emotions, all so they can be lied to again and exploited again.

Your messenger reached me. I'm surprised that you would call me your friend.

You've scrutinised my (perfectly normal) choice of career as well as my sexual preferences, and clearly have no regard for boundaries, as you keep pressuring me to get involved in things I'm not comfortable with. Clearly you're not my friend, so what made you think I'm yours?

Due to what I've seen over the past several years, it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are, especially the higher-ups; several have a tendency to confidently claim things that I've personally had the opportunity to confirm (physically) as nonsense. But who else am I supposed to discuss all these ridiculous topics with? Keeping my thoughts to myself is boooring, and there's enough people asking silly, irrelevant questions on JoS that I can actually offer my musings as useful advice there. You know how much I enjoy helping others, so how can I help it?

Talking to you will just get me in trouble, spending too much time on JoS will eventually deteriorate my mental health, and the interesting threads on 4chan die way too quickly to be satisfying. I tried joining an LGBT community on Discord a few months ago, but their bitterness and negativity towards normal people was extremely off-putting, so I left as I felt like a misfit for having a loving family and being married to a straight man. Spending time with my family, husband and friends is relaxing and fulfilling and all, but they just don't get all the stuff about astrology and sexuality and biology that interests me. So what am I supposed to do then?

I don't trust you, and I won't follow your advice unless it seems safe and reasonable. But since I do recognise that there's a problem, I'll hear what you have to say at least.

of course it reached you,
when i want something done it gets done.

Yes i did scrutinize your career, it's not to say that you're stupid, you're a smart person.
The reality is like i told you before, that you lack awareness.

You're smart enough to make the right decisions, but you make your decisions based on what you know and there's a lot of things you don't know, which is why your decisions lead to errors and problems.

How are you going to nurture people anyways? if you're going to nurture someone you need to understand people on an emotional level, how can you do that when you don't even understand your own emotions?

you got 2 links, if you read my other post you'd know that:
"a lack of hatred is not love, a lack of hatred is 'tolerance'
Tolerance is the passivity that harms, to much tolerance can lead to one being abused and having their rights infringed upon."
you clearly lack hatred because if you had any you wouldn't have taken the abuse that you did.

you said: "Clearly you're not my friend" well you probably don't know what a friend is then.
I'm not going to be going to tell you a bunch of a pretty little lies for the sake of being 'nice'. i tell you things as they are, there's no fake kindness with me, if fake stuff is what you consider to be a friend, then yes i am not your friend. ♪
which makes me wonder how many 'real' friends do you have?

"it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are" Well you certainly took your time to realize that, didn't you?


"So what am I supposed to do then?" Yea good question.
You don't really need to tell me how many groups you left, when we 1st meet i saw right through you and i told you what you were searching for.
Everyone needs a place to belong where they can express themselves for who they are, a 'home'.
i gave that to you but you walked away for it, so yea? what are you supposed to do now?

Not sure why you even bothered coming here acting all kool saying things like: "I dOn't TrUsT yOu, AnD i WoN'T fOlLoW yOuR aDvIcE uNlEsS iT sEeMs SaFe AnD rEaSoNaBlE. bUt SiNcE i Do ReCoGnIsE tHaT tHeRe's A pRoBlEm, I'Ll HeAr WhAt YoU hAvE tO sAy At LeAsT."
I know for a fact that you wouldn't have even bothered coming here unless you were going through hell.

whether you trust my advise or not is irrelevant, because I'm not the one who needs it right now.
if you want someone to bail you out of whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into, just say that.

What do you know about boundaries anyways?
you clearly have none.
You went there and let actual deranged people tell you that you're deranged, and your response was to thank them and say they're correct.
you tucked your tail in between your legs and found a nice corner to hide in, years ago you were abused then you went back to be abused again,
and now you want to come talking to me acting all kool? you clearly have no respect for me nor my boundaries.

The only reason why you act kool when talking to me now is because I've been generous and nice to you, which you seem to take advantage of.


So why should i help you? you don't even see me as a friend, so I see no reason why I should help you right now.

"Talking to you will just get me in trouble," but you're already in trouble, aren't you? if you weren't you would not be here right now.
Life ain't easy and trouble is inevitable.
I guess you haven't realized it yet, have you?
Freedom ain't free.

You say things as they are? Right, so that's why you told me it's very important that I keep my dick and stick it in a woman, because if I don't, some ancient evil will win? And if I ask you what the fuck you're on about, you say the same old cryptic nonsense that boils down to "just trust me bro, I've got entities on my side"? To me, you seem equally deranged as NakedPluto. Both of you live in your own fantasy world, and that's why I can't get along with either of you. There is nothing I care about more than physical reality, and my spiritual practices have always been for the sake of controlling real outcomes and improving my mental health; nothing else.

I've been acting in accordance to my premonitions, and thus nothing unexpected has happened for the past year or so. "You must be going through hell?" I'm here because I'm tired from celebrating yesterday, and I'm relaxing on my couch after a relaxing shower while my husband is taking a nap. You remind me of Tabby who claimed I was suffering so much that she just couldn't bear it. Of course, people are free to think whatever they want about me, but when that is directly contradicting my own lived experience, I am also free to look down on them for the naïve fools they clearly are. What else am I supposed to think, mister? It's simply in human nature to project your own feelings on others, and you're obviously no exception.

However, it's true that I don't know what a friend is. That's something I've always struggled to understand since I was little. Throughout my life there have been numerous people to call me their friend, and sometimes I called them that too, but then over even the slightest issues I'd conclude that they weren't my friends after all. The only reason I even still have friends at the moment is because they're my husband's friends too, so I couldn't just cut contact with them whenever they disappointed me in one way or another. And I'm glad, as they're good people and I do enjoy their company usually. But when it comes to maintaining friendships on my own, I'm admittedly rather terrible at it. Well, I guess my autism is to blame for that. At least my husband has been doing his best to help me understand better what friendship is, but it's been a gradual process.

You're the same as always, as expected. I didn't think it was that much of a bother to simply click on a link and read your post, but now that you mention it, I realise it's my mentality that it isn't a bother that's the issue in the first place. That's the same reason I browse the JoS forums and put up with people's delusions there, which is even more of a bother than this. Your advice was useful to me, so "thank you".

And regarding cooperation, I've realised I can't help you after all, but it's not like you'd want to change anyway, just as I don't want to change either. Aren't we both having a blast just the way we like, anyway? You get to be a hero and fight all sorts of entities, and likewise I've seen my childhood dreams unfold too, albeit in a more material sense. Life goes on, so we better delight in the lives we chose.

I have to go now. My husband woke up and it's time to eat my favourite food, first literally and then figuratively too. Hehe.

[BirdofFreedom]

Your messenger reached me. I'm surprised that you would call me your friend.

You've scrutinised my (perfectly normal) choice of career as well as my sexual preferences, and clearly have no regard for boundaries, as you keep pressuring me to get involved in things I'm not comfortable with. Clearly you're not my friend, so what made you think I'm yours?

Due to what I've seen over the past several years, it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are, especially the higher-ups; several have a tendency to confidently claim things that I've personally had the opportunity to confirm (physically) as nonsense. But who else am I supposed to discuss all these ridiculous topics with? Keeping my thoughts to myself is boooring, and there's enough people asking silly, irrelevant questions on JoS that I can actually offer my musings as useful advice there. You know how much I enjoy helping others, so how can I help it?

Talking to you will just get me in trouble, spending too much time on JoS will eventually deteriorate my mental health, and the interesting threads on 4chan die way too quickly to be satisfying. I tried joining an LGBT community on Discord a few months ago, but their bitterness and negativity towards normal people was extremely off-putting, so I left as I felt like a misfit for having a loving family and being married to a straight man. Spending time with my family, husband and friends is relaxing and fulfilling and all, but they just don't get all the stuff about astrology and sexuality and biology that interests me. So what am I supposed to do then?

I don't trust you, and I won't follow your advice unless it seems safe and reasonable. But since I do recognise that there's a problem, I'll hear what you have to say at least.

of course it reached you,
when i want something done it gets done.

Yes i did scrutinize your career, it's not to say that you're stupid, you're a smart person.
The reality is like i told you before, that you lack awareness.

You're smart enough to make the right decisions, but you make your decisions based on what you know and there's a lot of things you don't know, which is why your decisions lead to errors and problems.

How are you going to nurture people anyways? if you're going to nurture someone you need to understand people on an emotional level, how can you do that when you don't even understand your own emotions?

you got 2 links, if you read my other post you'd know that:
"a lack of hatred is not love, a lack of hatred is 'tolerance'
Tolerance is the passivity that harms, to much tolerance can lead to one being abused and having their rights infringed upon."
you clearly lack hatred because if you had any you wouldn't have taken the abuse that you did.

you said: "Clearly you're not my friend" well you probably don't know what a friend is then.
I'm not going to be going to tell you a bunch of a pretty little lies for the sake of being 'nice'. i tell you things as they are, there's no fake kindness with me, if fake stuff is what you consider to be a friend, then yes i am not your friend. ♪
which makes me wonder how many 'real' friends do you have?

"it's plain as day to me now how delusional some of the people at JoS are" Well you certainly took your time to realize that, didn't you?


"So what am I supposed to do then?" Yea good question.
You don't really need to tell me how many groups you left, when we 1st meet i saw right through you and i told you what you were searching for.
Everyone needs a place to belong where they can express themselves for who they are, a 'home'.
i gave that to you but you walked away for it, so yea? what are you supposed to do now?

Not sure why you even bothered coming here acting all kool saying things like: "I dOn't TrUsT yOu, AnD i WoN'T fOlLoW yOuR aDvIcE uNlEsS iT sEeMs SaFe AnD rEaSoNaBlE. bUt SiNcE i Do ReCoGnIsE tHaT tHeRe's A pRoBlEm, I'Ll HeAr WhAt YoU hAvE tO sAy At LeAsT."
I know for a fact that you wouldn't have even bothered coming here unless you were going through hell.

whether you trust my advise or not is irrelevant, because I'm not the one who needs it right now.
if you want someone to bail you out of whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into, just say that.

What do you know about boundaries anyways?
you clearly have none.
You went there and let actual deranged people tell you that you're deranged, and your response was to thank them and say they're correct.
you tucked your tail in between your legs and found a nice corner to hide in, years ago you were abused then you went back to be abused again,
and now you want to come talking to me acting all kool? you clearly have no respect for me nor my boundaries.

The only reason why you act kool when talking to me now is because I've been generous and nice to you, which you seem to take advantage of.


So why should i help you? you don't even see me as a friend, so I see no reason why I should help you right now.

"Talking to you will just get me in trouble," but you're already in trouble, aren't you? if you weren't you would not be here right now.
Life ain't easy and trouble is inevitable.
I guess you haven't realized it yet, have you?
Freedom ain't free.

You say things as they are? Right, so that's why you told me it's very important that I keep my dick and stick it in a woman, because if I don't, some ancient evil will win? And if I ask you what the fuck you're on about, you say the same old cryptic nonsense that boils down to "just trust me bro, I've got entities on my side"? To me, you seem equally deranged as NakedPluto. Both of you live in your own fantasy world, and that's why I can't get along with either of you. There is nothing I care about more than physical reality, and my spiritual practices have always been for the sake of controlling real outcomes and improving my mental health; nothing else.

I've been acting in accordance to my premonitions, and thus nothing unexpected has happened for the past year or so. "You must be going through hell?" I'm here because I'm tired from celebrating yesterday, and I'm relaxing on my couch after a relaxing shower while my husband is taking a nap. You remind me of Tabby who claimed I was suffering so much that she just couldn't bear it. Of course, people are free to think whatever they want about me, but when that is directly contradicting my own lived experience, I am also free to look down on them for the naïve fools they clearly are. What else am I supposed to think, mister? It's simply in human nature to project your own feelings on others, and you're obviously no exception.

However, it's true that I don't know what a friend is. That's something I've always struggled to understand since I was little. Throughout my life there have been numerous people to call me their friend, and sometimes I called them that too, but then over even the slightest issues I'd conclude that they weren't my friends after all. The only reason I even still have friends at the moment is because they're my husband's friends too, so I couldn't just cut contact with them whenever they disappointed me in one way or another. And I'm glad, as they're good people and I do enjoy their company usually. But when it comes to maintaining friendships on my own, I'm admittedly rather terrible at it. Well, I guess my autism is to blame for that. At least my husband has been doing his best to help me understand better what friendship is, but it's been a gradual process.

You're the same as always, as expected. I didn't think it was that much of a bother to simply click on a link and read your post, but now that you mention it, I realise it's my mentality that it isn't a bother that's the issue in the first place. That's the same reason I browse the JoS forums and put up with people's delusions there, which is even more of a bother than this. Your advice was useful to me, so "thank you".

And regarding cooperation, I've realised I can't help you after all, but it's not like you'd want to change anyway, just as I don't want to change either. Aren't we both having a blast just the way we like, anyway? You get to be a hero and fight all sorts of entities, and likewise I've seen my childhood dreams unfold too, albeit in a more material sense. Life goes on, so we better delight in the lives we chose.

I have to go now. My husband woke up and it's time to eat my favourite food, first literally and then figuratively too. Hehe.

Of course i say things as they are,
what about you?

As far as i know i didn't judge you, despite the delusional things you told me, but you certainly did judge me.

what sort of ancient evil are you talking about? the one in your so called 'past lives' the 'guardian' that had sex with you or something after you 'died'?
what sort of entities are you talking about anyways? is it the one who 'overpowered' and raped you?

"I'm here because I'm tired from celebrating yesterday, and I'm relaxing on my couch after a relaxing shower while my husband is taking a nap."
Interesting, you certainly are quite the lair.

You're relaxed? yet you're going on a rant saying "the fuck i am on about" and the such, calling people delusional and such, despite all the delusional things that happened to you, i could go on about how you saw yourself "from the future as a fox with 9 tails" to help you get in touch with your "furry" side.

You mention people living in their fantasy world, yet you and your "husband" are simply gay try to convince yourselves that you're straight.
you told me your "husband" just somehow knew you were 'a girl' even though there's noting really feminine about you, your whole justification for wanting to be a girl is so that you and your "husband" can pretend to be straight, even though there's noting wrong with being gay.

regardless you don't seem to know what privacy is, but don't worry i won't say the really delusional stuff you told me.

For the most part it seems like you're venting frustration, for someone who says they're 'relax' you sure type as if you're stressed.
"I'm here because I'm tired from celebrating yesterday, and I'm relaxing on my couch after a relaxing shower while my husband is taking a nap.", "I have to go now. My husband woke up and it's time to eat my favourite food, first literally and then figuratively too."
You really do like bringing up your personal life even though no one really cares about it, the thing is, you're trying to portray your current situation as 'fine and relaxed' even though the things you say and the way you type indicate the opposite.

If you were fine and relaxed, why mention your person life and bring it up? what're you trying to prove and to who?
If you were fine and relaxed why are you here? if you were fine you wouldn't even be speaking to me right now, nor would you even on here.