HPSZolaLuckyStar wrote: ↑Tue Apr 13, 2021 11:58 pm Hi Hayden, welcome to the T4SI hope you'll enjoy your stay!
“I have another question since English is not my native language- this specific info stayed in my head for a while so, maybe I should address it now...
By the end, when he pushed all of the past RTRs (last time) to be performed, he said something like (((SEAL THE DEAL)))???
What deal? We were to remove/UNDO the curses of the jews, is there any DEAL TO SEAL WITH WHO?
maybe it's an idiotic question, but just an observation”
That IS an interesting observation. VERY interesting. Who, indeed?
Nick wanted more than anything to be a High Priest (according to one who was a friend of his back in the day when he was just another member). He absolutely gets off on the power trip.
Negative effects of the RTR:
I was staying with a couple of other Satanists for yule. And while one of them was at work, the two of us did the RTR. After which, I abruptly felt nauseous. It was very bad. I went upstairs to lie down and wait for the other person to come home. When I heard him come in I went down to him and told him I was sick. He had me lie down on the couch while he did some reiki kind of work on me but it got even worse. I had to make a run for the bathroom where I projectile vomited.
I am extremely healthy. I never get sick. It's extremely rare I would ever throw up and this was so extreme. The only other time I've ever projectile vomited like that was when I had food poisoning from a bad oyster.
After, I came back out and laid on the couch. I was still weak and very sick feeling. My Guardian Demon then entered the room. He did some energy work, pulling a handful of black writhing things out of me. After which, I felt instantly better. Like the sickness had never happened. I felt fantastic!
Whatever these things were, they were exceedingly negative and they were buried inside me, like arrows. He literally pulled them out of me.
I've seen this kind of thought form (or entity) before. It was attached to a man, writhing around him. It was so black that when it passed before his face it literally obscured his features. When I saw this, I stood on the pedals on my bike and worked hard to get speed going. I was out of there! The man dropped the pretence of being harmless, ran out into the road after me, tried to pull me off my bike! Fortunately, I'd gained just enough speed. His fingers were like claws sliding down my back but he failed to get a grip.
Whatever these 'arrows' were, they were some kind of thought form attack, or perhaps actual negative entitys, brought in or brought on by doing the RTR.
After this I wasn't very into doing the RTRs and didn't for some time. But I was feeling guilty for not doing it. I decided I guess I better do them again. But then, my Guardian dropped in and He said:
“Don't waste your time on them. Focus on YOURSELF.”
He explicitly told me not to do them, ever.
When I was publicly witch burned on their forum, I wrote to nick telling him off. I CC'd this to maxine. Then I wrote just to maxine and I asked her: WHY are you allowing nick and shannon to do this to me?!? When you know I'm innocent? She and Nick responded with several links to nonsense sites of people blowing soap bubbles, etc. I wrote her again asking:
What the hell is that supposed to mean? And she replied:
“Laughter is necessary.”
Meaning they thought the entire thing – destroying my reputation, my good name, shitting all over my art work, labelling me a jew, my pain and humiliation – was FUNNY.
Causing damage to another person for no good reason at all is FUNNY.
These are the kind of people these poor naive kids are dealing with. People without a conscience, who claim to honour truth and justice while their actions speak of anything but.
This is what convinced me they're not good people. They lied about me. Hurt me badly. I felt like maybe I didn't even want to live anymore for a while but in the end decided NO WAY will I lie down and die for ANYBODY. Certainly not for THEM.
After I made this decision Satan came to me. All through my depression and pain, I was left entirely on my own. I didn't hear from/see my guardians, or Satan. I was left to decide on my own, what I would do. If I would choose to carry on, or not. But now He returned. And He said:
“What you experienced was but a small portion of my pain. Yet through it, you have come to understand me better. We understand one another now.”
I didn't respond but was struck by this observation as of course; there is probably no other name more reviled than His. Thanks to the church. He then said:
“Make me a Ministry, High Priestess.”
What will I call it? I asked. He responded:
“Truth4Satan.”
Along with the words I felt this awareness fill me. Like a download. I understood that the very beings who want to help us, by encouraging us to stop worshipping any god but the one within, the beings who want to assist humanity to free itself are the same ones, like Satan, painted the bad guys, hated and feared the most, while the real perpetrators have run amok on the planet for millennia. Everything they do, they point the finger at others and claim they are the bad ones. And it is a very painful thing to watch, to experience, to be one of these beings (like Satan).
I understood the lies must be replaced with truth, that He wishes for us to be given truth in order that we can free ourselves. And that the T4S will be His vehicle. We have a very large job ahead of us, HP Black Mamba and I.
I'm excited to relay information inspired from Satan is being compiled and will be published soon. It is a powerful and extremely positive message that we (T4S Clergy) look forward to sharing with everybody.
Nick was the one who did all the techie computery stuff. It's possible for him to have locked her out. She wouldn't be able to post either as he controls who can. I used to think this might be possibly why she vanished. But now I'm leaning towards the fact that the donations have been falling downhill for some time to the point they scarcely exist any more. They went from thousands a month down to almost nothing and this might possibly be why she split. It wasn't paying her anymore. That and as you mentioned Hayden, her husband was kicked from the NSM. It's also possible she's no longer among the living. If so, she's not the first person to have literally tried to destroy me who met their end instead.
“they work for people to connect in the astral, then they can act the creeps they are in the forum but in real life, and can try to ´´Destroy´´ people souls.”
I'm aware such groups exist however I never realized that some would go to all the trouble to become lucid in the dreamtime, lucid in the astral, just to then go about in a gang to commit heinous acts on other people. I met up with a group of like minded souls on the astral for many years. We attended lectures in a university sort of setting. We went there to get higher learning from advanced beings. Not to commit crimes.
“this is the sort of thing could happen to people who engage in this Ritual- BECOME VICTIM OF ATTACKS OF THE OTHER MEMBERS”
Good point; be discerning of the company you keep. Don't meet up astrally with people going about acting like thugs then be surprised when they turn on you. I imagine a group of these negative people could do some harm, but they have to have a stronger soul than, for example, mine in order to harm me. When one has a lot of Vao, its very hard to attack and succeed because it builds such a strong soul and aura of protection. That said though, yes. When one has close interactions with others, you form cords of attachment that an experienced practitioner could follow back to you.
“Who will be held responsable for any possible DAMAGE cause to a child/teen? WHO?”
This is why nick hides behind a keyboard. No accountability.
I agree, I'm concerned about the kids too. If they had done to a young impressionable teen what they put me through, it could have been a tragic ending. This is unconscionable.
My dear Zola,
I am shocked and deeply moved by your confession, and I can relate to certain aspects. I am sorry that you had to suffer like this all by yourself. You are not alone anymore.